Forgiveness

Fighting with someone you love is awful experience we all know that. Everybody gets hurt. But sometimes, some people get so deeply hurt, the relationship ends. There's no way to know what the other person will hear, how they will interpretate your actions, or read your facial expressions. We can only speak for ourselves, and judge how we would feel if we're in their place. But maybe, something so little, is big deal for somebody else. Even knowing everything there's to know about a person, you can be sure of how they will react. 

When I say something that hurts somebody else, I feel instantly bad. I know what like to be hurt by words, specially by someone you love. I try everything to be forgiven. I hate fighting and leaving it, I don't want my best friend or my boyfriend to go to bed mad at me; that's not s good thing to take to your pillow. I always try to fix things up, so everything can sleep at time, knowing, at least, that we might fight and argue, and say hurtful things, but I'll always be there for them. And there's nothing in this world that will stop me. 

But when I get hurt, most of the times I don't feel that people try that hard. They say, "eh, I'm sorry.", and that's it. If I'm truly hurt, I'll want more than just "eh, I'm sorry." I want a hug, I want to hear "I wasn't nice to you, and I won't say "I'm sorry", because I don't know you to say "it's okay." It's not okay to hurt you. I will ask for your forgiveness" And I will forgive. Forgiveness is about me going to bed and sleeping nicely; it's not about who hurt me. It's not a present I'm giving them. It's about letting go of something that doesn't bring anything useful to my life, forgiving is healing. 

Today, I was hurt. And I didn't hear an apology. But I forgave. I want to live my life happily, I want to fill my mind with joy, and music, and laughter. I cannot deal with all these negativeness again, so now I'm forgiving. It doesn't matter what people say to me, I'll forgive them. Because revenge is not worth the time, my time! I could be doing something good with this time. Good things bring good things, bad things bring horrible things.